My experience with PCOS and lapband surgery.

I have been wanting to write about this for awhile and I have a few minutes right now so I think I will do it.  I have severe PCOS.  I was diagnosed at the age of 19 after having VERY irregular periods, hair growth in weird places, and a 50 pound weight gain in just a few months.  It took several doctors and lots of work on my part, but I finally found an MD who would listen and was officially diagnosed.  I have tried lots of different meds to treat my PCOS but nothing really worked.  I got pregnant VERY unexpectedly a few months after my hubbyand I got married and miscarried my baby a few week after we found out.  I was devastated, of course.  I quickly got pregnant again with my son probably so easily due to just be pregnant the month or so before.  My second pregnancy took 1 1/2 years to achieve.  I was on lots of fertility meds and finally after giving up and taking a break we got pregnant with my daughter.  We then tried again to get pregnant again about a year or so ago and after 6 mths of ultrasounds, fertility meds, and lots of disappointment  we decided to take a break and I decided to have lapband surgery.  I tell you all of this to give you a little background on just how well I know my body.  Because of the fertility issues I am very in tune with my hormones and I know when they are off.  Before my lapband surgery, I was a mess.  I had irregular periods, very little cervical mucous when I should have had lots, ect, ect.  I am now down 40 pounds since my pre-op weigh in and MAN do I notice a difference in my hormones.  I have had a regular period since my surgery, on time, every month.  I have NEVER had this.  I have TONS of cervical mucous when I should and really notice the hormone changes in my body when I am ovulating and right before my period.  This excites me.  I am very hopeful that this summer we can get my IUD taken out and hopefully get pregnant right away.  Who new 40 pounds would make such a difference?  I have my yearly appt. with my amazing, HOT, (haha) OBGYN in a month or so and am excited to get my blood work done to see exactly how this weight loss has effected my PCOS.  There is hope my fellow PCOS ladies!  They say weight loss is the best cure for PCOS and I am sitting here as living proof that even a little weight loss can have an effect on PCOS.  I am excited for the year to come, to loose even more weight and hopefully have even less issues with my PCOS.  Well, thats it in a nut shell!  Again, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!

Quick check-in

Hey all!   I am just checking in to document my weight is staying around 220 which is great.  I hate plateaus.  I get my 4th fill tomorrow and am seeing the new PA.  I am excited to meet her and hope my experience is what I want and need.  I am glad to be getting it before the Holiday and am hoping it will help with all the yummy things laying around.  I don't have much self control when it comes to sweets!  I need to work on that!  I will write more later....probably after Christmas and after my family leaves.  My dad is coming from Phoenix and we are all so excited!  I hope everyones holidays are filled with lots of love, fun, laughter, and NO pounds gained!!

What did MY scale say this morning??

I swear everytime I start complaining on my blog that I am on a plateau I lose!  My scale said....


219!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




This whole band thing really is so different and I just now feel like I am getting the hang of it.  I am not really hungry till about 3-4 in the afternoon and haven't been eating till then.  NO NO NO!! I know.  Not good.  That is probably why my hair is falling out by the handful.  I have NOT been taking care of myself and giving my body the nutrients/fuel it needs to lose weight and be healthy.  I have been very diligent the last couple days about at LEAST having a protein shake with two scoops of protein in the AM and a cheese stick and maybe a slice of lunch meat or some turkey salad for lunch and then a healthy dinner. Just doing this the last couple days I am down 3 pounds.  I will continue to take care of my body and Monday is going to be "back to working out" day.  I WILL lose 9 more pounds to reach my 50 pounds lost and you will soon see a photo of me sporting a fly nose ring!!

Someday I will figure out why it is so difficult for me to take care of me.

Time to check in!

Hello all!  I haven't been reading or obviously writing over the last week or two for many reasons.  First it was Thanksgiving and it's just crazy.  We celebrated my sons 6th birthday the day before Thanksgiving as well.  It was great!  I can't believe how fast time has gone!  He also lost his first tooth last night!  He didn't even know it, my husband realized it as he was drying his hair after his bedtime shower.  My son was quite devastated that he didn't have the tooth so we made sure to write a note to the tooth fairy and this morning he couldn't come get us fast enough to show us his loot that the tooth fairy brought!  It was fun and it makes me realize even more that every moment I have with my children I need to continue to soak up and I am going to be better at record keeping of their "firsts".  I can't believe the things I don't remember in just 6 years!

On the shoulder front, I am healing nicely.  Sleeping is still quite difficult, but last night I actually slept without pain  meds!  That is HUGE!!  PT is really tough, but I have been working with my therapist since my accident so he really knows me well and knows when to push me and when not to.  This I am thankful for!

On the band front I am stuck at 226.  I have been there for weeks. (I was down to 222 at one point, I am not quite sure what happen.) I finally called my doctors office after calling several other offices and had no luck with finding one that would take me as a patient because they don't use the realize band.  I spoke with my surgeons assistant and felt heard and we have a new plan.  I told her about the traumatizing last fill, about the NP ignoring my questions about my hair falling out by the handful, about not even really knowing how much weight I lost since the last fill and she was very willing to listen.  I told her I wasn't trying to get the NP in trouble or anything like that, that I just want to be successful with my band and weight loss and in order for ME to do that I need a different experience when I come to the clinic.  We decided that I would see a PA that is only there once a week and my surgeon sporadically so that I can "check-in"  The one thing she really emphasized is that with the lap band you are suppose to lose 1-2 pounds a week.  I am down 33 pounds in 19 weeks so am only a few pounds behind.  I am sure part of the plateau I am on right now is because I am not working out, measuring, or making sure I am getting enough protein.  This is partly due to laziness and partly because I just had major shoulder surgery a month ago.  Today this will change.  I am going to get my s#$% together and make this band work for me.  The nurse was really impressed with my weight loss and said I am doing really well.  This made me feel good and also motivated me to, like I said before....get my s#$% together.  Again I only have 17 pounds to go for my nose ring, I would really like to do this right after the holiday when my parents are here visiting.  I would like my step mom to be with me because she is one of my biggest supporters in all things in life.  Sometimes I am  not sure how I would get through life without her!  So....17 pounds in 4 weeks?  That is a little over 4 pounds a week.  It's a far stretch, but I am going to bust my ass to get as close as possible!  

Wow!  I didn't realize I was going to go on and on!  Guess I needed to get it all out!  I hope all of you are well and will be back soon to check in!

*edit*  Just weighed myself and the scale read 224.5!!!!!  yay...hopefully it continues!

One of my favorite band friendly recipes!

Barbecued Thai Turkey Bundles

A family favorite. Wrap these tasty “burgers” in cabbage or lettuce leaves for a fun finger-food meal

Thai dipping sauce

• 1 beaten egg
• ½ cup coarsely chopped waterchestnuts
• ⅓ cup fine dry bread crumbs
• 1 green onion, finely chopped
• 1 T soy sauce
• 1 T lemon juice
• 2 t grated ginger root
• ½ t sugar
• ¼ t salt
• ¼ t chili oil or a dash ground red pepper
• 1½ lb. ground raw turkey
• 12 savoy cabbage leaves or leaf lettuce
• fresh cilantro sprigs
• 1 recipes Thai dipping sauce

• In a large mixing bowl combine egg, chestnuts, bread crumbs, green onion, soy sauce, lemon juice, ginger, sugar, salt and chili oil. Add turkey; mix well. Shape into 12 loaves. Grill over medium hot coals or broil 3 inches from heat for 12-14 minutes or til juice runs clear, turning once. Serve each loaf wrapped in a cabbage leaf. Garnish with cilantro.
• Thai Dipping Sauce:
• In a small bowl combine-
• ¼ cup lemon juice
• 3 T fish sauce
• 1 T snipped cilantro
• 2 t sugar
• 1 t soy sauce
• ½ t crushed red pepper
• ½ t sesame oil
  
  
  
  
  All the "stuff" in the turkey keeps it really moist and the sauce is SO good.  We lovingly call it crack sauce in our house because when I make it we just can't stop!  We LOVE it!  I make this probably once a week, its great!
  Also I use splenda instead of sugar. You also don't have to grill the bundles, I often just broil them in the oven.
  Have a great day all!

Thank you

Thank you all for your nice and kind comments about my post yesterday.  I took to opportunity to talk with my son and it was a great talk.  He loves me regardless of my weight and that is what matters.
I had a fill yesterday and it sucked.  I have decided I need to find a different clinic.  When I go in for a fill I expect to hear my weight difference without figuring it out myself and a smile from the staff would be nice as well.  When I ask a question about my band I expect a honest, accurate answer without the huffing and puffing and snide looks.  Asking if I can use a straw now is not a dumb question, asking how much fluid you are going to put in my band is not a dumb question either.  The first time she attempted to fill my band yesterday was unsuccessful and TERRIBLY painful.  I finally tool the nurse practioners hand and used it to pull the needle out of my stomach. It burned and was...well just not how it should have felt.  It bleed a lot as well.  I am not sure what happened.  The second time she tried, I told her she was in and she didn't believe me, she proceeded to dig around and I then asked her to try and draw some fluid out to see if she was in.  She finally DID pull some out and of course, as I said....she was in.  I asked how much she was putting in and the answer was...."a little over 1cc."  So I guess I now have "a little over" 6cc in my band.  I am definitely feeling more restriction and  hope it stays like that for awhile, while I find a new clinic.  I called one place today and they don't use  Realize bands so they said I would have to go elsewhere.  I will continue to look and hopefully can find another clinic that can help me out and show a little kindness. Well...time to get a kiddo on the bus!  Thank you all again so much for your support, it is nice to know I can come here and vent!

Crushed

My 6 year old son told me this morning while we were waiting for the bus that a little girl that has been a bit of a pain in the ass this year, said...."your  mom is a fatty".  I can't stop crying.  How can the words of a 5 year old girl cut so deep.  I don't want my son to have to deal with this....why do parents teach their children these things. I don't care if it's intentional or not....NOT ACCEPTABLE!!  My son knows the word fat isn't nice...it hurts people, even his mommy.

Comparison

This was at my highest weight....275 or so.

This is at my daughters birthday party two weeks ago!

What an amazing difference!  I really never realized how big I was, its weird to see the difference!

Surgery went well!  WAY better than lapband surgery and coming out of anesthesia was a TOTAL different experience this time, a better one.  I am so happy with how well things went.  It's been a week and I am really sore, but hanging in there.  My husband and children have been incredibly patient and for that I am SO thankful. I have gained a few pounds, but kind of expected that.  I have a fill Tuesday and CAN'T wait!  Thank you for all your nice comments from my last post.....I have just been in a funk and put WAY to much pressure on myself. I am trying to find a balance.  Until then, I will post and comment when I can!  Hope you are all well and have some great comparison pictures that I will try to get up soon!

Contemplating...

I am thinking I might be done blogging for awhile.  I feel guilty when I don't blog, and I feel even worse when i do and no one comments.  I tell myself it is ridiculous to feel this way, because I didn't start this blog for you all, I started it for me.  Sometimes it just feels like it's one more thing I HAVE to squeeze into my day, one more thing on the to do list.  I like when I blog, it holds me accountable to myself, but I find that I am basing my self worth on how many comments I get and who comments.  That is silly.  I think I have to take a step back and reevaluate WHY I am doing this.  I know in the end I will be back, because I love reading your blogs and I love the inspiration it gives me.  I just need to stop finding self worth in what OTHERS think of me.  I don't want to be a whiny brat or make any one feel guilty, I just need some time to figure this out.  I have a big surgery next week and need to focus on dealing with that and getting through it.  I will be back soon, until then I hope you all lose LOTS o' weight and life is good to you.

Quickie

Okay this is just a quick update. I have shoulder surgery on the 28th and was told to prepare for 4-6 week of recovery so I am cleaning, organizing, preparing like a mad woman and just haven't made the time to sit down and blog.  Band wise I am great.  I still don't have a ton of restriction, but regardless the scale said 222 this morning.  I talked with my surgeon last week about getting the fluid in my band taken out because of surgery and  they said because I can still eat bread, chicken, steak with no issue I DO NOT have to get it  taken out!! I did have to skip a fill, but as soon as I am up to it after surgery I can go it for my third fill.  I am happy with my band.  in 3 months I am down 38 pounds and almost 3 sizes!! My twenties are getting big and that is exciting!  I am tempted to dig out my wedding dress and try it on for fun!  We will see if I manage that before surgery.  I am sorry I am not commenting a lot, I am reading and trying to keep up.  I am sure I will be all caught up and a commenting queen after my surgery!  Hope all is well with all of you!  Have an awesome day!

Anyone else have this happen?

So I am officially down to 225.  That is 35 pounds down!  So, you know how I had that weird thing a week or so ago where I was down to 225 then back up to 235 in a few days time?  I notice that happens when I lose a significant amount.  It's weird.  There is no way that I lost, gained, and then lost 10 pounds in a week.  It's so odd to me.  I am however, VERY excited that I am offically down to 225.  I am really watching my portions (this is hard because I don't feel a whole lot of restriction) and trying to make sure I am getting more protein.  I know some of you have said you don't find it difficult to get in your protein but for some reason, I do.  I guess it's probably that I really don't feel hungry till 1pm or so and I need to have a protein shake for breakfast or something and that will help up my protein.  My hair needs it!  Luckily I have an over abundance of hair and it's actually been a small blessing to lose a little, but now it needs to stop.  I need to be more diligent about protein.  Only 15 more pounds till my nose ring!  I am hoping it's shortly after my shoulder surgery.  I know I am gonna need a little pick me up and a nose ring would do just that!

Oh yeah!  I went to a party this weekend (where my son broke his arm...poor guy) and it was a stressful day so someone asked if I wanted a beer and I gladly said YES, without even thinking of the carbonation.  I drank the whole thing over an hours time and it was then that I said, "oh shit, I didn't even think about the carbonation!!!".  I didn't have any issues, but I find it funny that I didn't even think.... right back to the old me......GIVE ME A BEER!  Not that I was a lush, but I do love me a good dark pint of beer once in awhile!  Well....off to check on the baby boy, he is  home one last day from school with his broken arm.  Its amazing how resilient kids are.  Here is a pic of the poor guy after we spent the morning at the ER on Sunday checking it out.

He now has a blue cast and can't wait to go buy a sharpie today so everyone can sign it!  The barbie is my daughters Ariel....she gave it to him to help him get comfy while he slept, it was really sweet.  Have a great day ladies!!

Will it ever NOT hurt??

I am wondering....will my port ever not hurt?  Sometime it hurts when my shirt rubs on it.  I know it's only been about 2 1/2 months since surgery but it is still so sensitive.  Does that hurt ever go away?  

Byoc!!!

1. Are you late, early or on time?

I try really hard to be on time or early for most things.  HOWEVER, with children...it's not always up to you!

2. Name three things you like and three things you dislike? Dislike:
Early mornings

Spiders

Yogurt
Like:
Sewing

Butterflies

Thunderstorms

3. Are you a morning or a night person? 
Total night person!  It is changing a bit as I get older, it seem harder to stay up later!

4. What is your favorite clothes store? 
I like to thrift a lot.  I am sure as I get smaller I will enjoy more stores, but right now and I always have, I ADORE Target.  If you ask my kids what our favorite store is they proudly announce, TARGET!!!!

I could and sometimes do get lost in Target for hours.

5. Repeat question: Summarize your week in blogland.

My week has been a lot of ups and downs.  One second I love blogging and the next I feel like no one cares and why should I continue.  Why I feel that way??.....no good reason.  I have also had some very emotional things going on in my life and self realization that is kind of incredible so that might all have a little to do with it as well.  I will share more about that in a separate post.  

I SO wish I could have joined you all in Chicago. I have enjoyed the pics of all you beautiful ladies so, NO DON'T STOP, I LOVE THEM!!

Self Love

I have a lot on my mind right now.  I am going to apologize for improper grammar and spelling right now.  I need  to just get it all out and process what I am learning.
I have been going through a process of learning to love who my maker made me to be for a few years now.  It has been a very necessary road for me to go down and a tough one as well.  I grew up not loving myself at all.  I was fat, ugly, unpopular, not a good student and a half ass musician.  Why try hard when all you are going to do in the end is fail, right?
Three years ago my life was turned upside down by a new baby, a multiple sclerosis diagnosis (hubby), as well as a psychotic break and bipolar diagnosis for my husband.  I went into take care of everyone else mode and let myself go.  I was lucky if I got to brush my teeth, because someone might need something in the 5 min. it takes to do that!  I was withering away....my soul, not my body. (LOL)  It was time to do something.  I then started on a journey of finding myself and loving myself.  This started with learning what gifts I was given and embracing them.


One of the gifts I was born with is the ability to feel what other people feel.  I once as a small child got really sad about some friends of my moms and kept telling her....you have to call them something is wrong.  She did after several hours of tears and persistence and was told that their house had burned to the ground.  How I knew this....I don't know, I could just FEEL it.
There is many times in my life that this has been a wonderful thing, but it's tough as well.  When my BFF's husband was murdered, it was HARD.  I could just FEEL the sadness.  To be honest, it was one of the most exhausting experiences I have ever experience, but MAN, did I learn some shit about myself!
When things are happy this is great!  I spent the night last night celebrating a triumph over breast cancer with some dear friends and at one point during the night the joy in the room was so strong, I could FEEL it.  When I say I can FEEL it, really I can physically FEEL it.  I can't explain what its like, but I am learning to love it and embrace it.
My husband is TOTAL opposite, he doesn't feel, at all really.  It takes a lot.  This is due to a crazy childhood, but again, another story for another day.
I was talking with him last night about the feeling I get in these situations and had a HUGE revelation.  I LIKE that I can FEEL things that others can't.  I can't imaging going through life not being able to feel like I do, even if it's exhausting at times.
I am going to embrace this gift and love it.  This is part of me and makes me who I am.  I love this about myself.  4 months ago, you wouldn't have heard these words from me, this is a huge step in my process of embracing who I am and most importantly, LOVING who I am.

Again....sorry for the bla bla bla....I just had to get it out.

And...a picture or two to show you how joyful the night really was!!

I am terrified...

As I said in a previous post, I have to have surgery on my shoulder the end of October.  I am SO scared.  I mentioned it to my surgeon when I had my last fill and he said they may have to empty my band due to nausea from anesthesia.  WHAT???  I have 5cc in there now and could use more.  I am closer to the green zone, but not THAT close.  I am really struggling here.  Saturday, I was down to 225 and today I got on the scale and I am back up to 233.5.  8 pounds in like 4 days? WTF??  I am making good food choices, the working out has been sporadic because I have the cold that won't go away and my lungs hurt.  I am hoping to squeeze a workout in today when my baby girl goes down for a nap, lungs hurting or not.  I am NOT suppose to be gaining weight at this point and this is just NOT okay with me.  I was only 15 pounds away from my nose ring goal and I am pissed.  I guess all I can do it channel that energy into some kick ass workouts and tell those 8 pounds where to go.  *sigh*  I just feel discouraged and like no one cares.  Okay...enough of that, no pity parties for me today.  I care and that is what matters.  I CAN do this and I WILL do this.  210...here I come!!

I had a moment....

I got my hair cut Friday morning.  I hate looking in the mirror when I get my hair cut,  I always see every imperfection as I sit and stare at myself for 45 min.  WELL, on Friday as I was sitting there loathing the fact that I would have to look at myself for the next hour I glanced over to take a quick peak in the mirror and had a moment of joy....I LIKED WHAT I SAW!!!  I can't tell you the last time I looked in the mirror and thought...you know Sum, you look pretty.  Friday I felt that way.  It was fantastic.  I am embracing the new me and loving it!  This makes me more happy than words can say.  I have pics from the wedding to share and will do so as soon as I get them uploaded!  Hope you all had a great time in Chicago!!!  Oh yeah...guess what the scale said yesterday  morning?  225!! WHOOT!!!!  That's almost 10 pounds in a week according to my surgeon!  Yay for restriction!

SO much going on!

I just wanted to stop by and say a quick hello and tell everyone..."Have a great time in Chicago"!!!
I know I have been MIA for awhile, but my life has been crazy busy and SO much change is happening.  Lets start with the band....
I got my second fill a couple weeks early and  now as of Monday I have 5cc in my band!  I feel alot more restriction (YAY!!) and have lost 5 pounds this week!  I am now down to 227 after the last month of up and down 7 pounds!  I feel great and am excited for what the next months bring.
Now with my personal life....  
My baby boy is now in kindergarten!  I had a really tough time the first week but this week (the second week) has gone much better.  I just miss him so much.  I didn't realize it at the time but, the first day of school was also my due date for my baby that I lost.  It has been almost 7 years and I still every year get really sad and it takes a few days for me to remember and figure out what is going on.  It's funny how I want to NOT remember dates like these, but my heart just knows.  It was tough.  Also, one of my best friends Daddy passed away very unexpectedly and suddenly this past Monday and it has been a emotional roller-coaster.  I also found out I have to have surgery on my shoulder.  All I can say is the day sucked big donkey balls.  Major ones.
I was in a car accident almost 2 years ago....someday I will write more about this as it was a very life changing event for me.  In the accident I suffered an injury to my shoulder and collar bone joint.  One is operable....one is not.  I am going to have shoulder surgery the end of October.  I am terrified, but don't want to be in pain on a daily basis anymore, so I will do it.  Well ladies....to be honest my mind is a blur and I need to get off to a haircut and then a wedding for another good friends daughter.  I wonder....how many emotions can one feel in a weeks time without her head blowing up?  Toodles!
PS-  I am going to work really hard this next week at being a better blogger.  I really, really am.

Quick question...

I am wondering, what is your goal calorie intake for each day?  Also, do you work out?

Lazy Blogger.....no not really just busy!

The last week has been CARAZY busy!  Monday last week was me and my hubbys 7th wedding anniversary!  My grandparents watched the 2 kiddos overnight and we came home with yummy Italian food and watched True Blood (we are officially caught up!).  It was fantastic and much needed.  In fact my kids are almost 6 and 3 and this is the first time we have had both kids gone at the same time.  Sleeping in was marvelous! Then midweek we had kindergarten orientation.... my baby is getting big!  I also got my first fill that day.  I got 4cc put in my 11cc band and I should have gotten more.  They normally do 5-7cc your first fill, but I wasn't quite sure what I should be feeling and of course no on explained it.  The fill was painless, this I was quite happy about!  I know I should have gotten more because I can still take really large swallows of water with NO issue and I can eat probably 1-2 cups of food if I want.  I am really trying not to do so. I will definitely be more aggressive next time.   I haven't lost anything in the last couple weeks and that is discouraging.  I also haven't worked out for several days so that doesn't help my cause either.  My goal is to be back on the wagon by next week.  I NEED to be working out at least 5 days a week. I am hoping being back into the routine of school and a schedule everyday will help me.  I do know it will give me more time to blog and that always helps keep me accountable!  Well, off to read some more of your blogs!  

Just a quick hello!

Hello all!  This week has been busy and FUN!  We went to the state fair yesterday and had a fantastic time.  It is so fun to see it all through my children's eyes, it is a whole different experience than on my own!  Had a few bites of yummy food and then was dumb and had a bite (ONE) of cheese curd....ummm....lets just say STUCK, BAD.  I thought I was going to puke on the spot but managed to hold it in and it passed in a few min.  Sometimes I get a little brave and it is not a good thing, I forget that I can't eat like I used to.  Other than that episode, things are great!  I am feeling good as ever!  Thank you all for your love and support.  This journey wouldn't be the same without you all!!!

Just a quickie...

Today is 5 weeks since I have been banded!! I am stuck at 233 the last couple days, but oh well.  I definetly see and feel the difference so I am not going to obsess.  I just have a quick NSV to share.  SO...before surgery I was a size 22, yesterday I went to get my son some clothes for school and decided while I was in Old Navy I would try a few things on because so many of you suggested it to me for some new, cheap clothes.  I have NEVER been able to wear ANYTHING Old Navy.  NEVER.  Well, I tried on about 456,789 shirts all XXL and they were too big...WTF are you kidding me?  So what did I do...kept trying on XXL.  DUH! Eventually I went and grabbed some XL stuff and tried that on and guess what? I walked out with two shirts size XL. I was ecstatic.  I also tried on some jeans size 20 and decided against it because they were a little two roomie, I could have squeezed into an 18, but they would have been a little snug.  I just can't believe it.  It feels so good.  I can't even fathom what the next year will bring!  Well, time to hop on the elliptical, I am determined to kick some ass in the challenge!!!  Have a great day!

Just a quick note and picture!

I got a letter from my surgeons office that I needed to reschedule my first fill appt.  I was TOTALLY bummed, but guess what?? They got me in a week EARLIER and so I get my first fill Sept 1st at 9am!  I am totally excited and in much need.  I have been stuck at the same weight for the last week or so and for sure notice things going down easier and easier everyday.  Also I am not full as long!  WHEEEE!!!

Anyway...here is a new pic.  I took it yesterday so I could really look and see how much weight I have lost...because well...sometimes I don't see it quite as much as others do.  All I have to say is HOLY SHIT!  I can really see it and it is so exciting!  I really see it in my face and I can actually really see the collar bones now,WHOOT WHOOT!!

Desperately need new clothes.

Well I am happy to say it is that time.  My clothes are getting WAY to big and frumpy and I look terrible.  I am wondering if you ladies have any ideas how to keep my cost down.  Do you just thrift it?  I like thrift store shopping but hate it at the same time because cute plus size stuff is hard to find.  At least in my neck of the woods.  I am now in a solid 20 now.  This is what I was when I got married.  Maybe I will dig my wedding dress out and see if it fits again just for fun!  My seventh wedding anniversary IS coming up in a couple weeks! LOL.  Anywho, just wondering what you ladies do for clothing as your shrinking away??!!

Things I have learned in the last week....

-You must take small small bites and chew, chew, chew.  If you don't....OUCHIE!  No PB's yet or nothing stuck for more than a few sec, but damn it hurts when it is.

-Even if you take small bites, and chew....sauce, sauce and more sauce.  I need to find some more recipes for yummy sauces.  It makes things go down SO much nicer.

-SLOW DOWN.  Nuff said.

-And last but NOT LEAST, constipation SUCKS!  They warned me, but I was a well....lets just say....very regular pooper before band and thought it would even things out. NOPE.  UGH, it hurts.  I took some stool softener this am and am waiting for it to kick it.  It taste like straight turpentine though so I only take it when necessary.  I can't wait till I am on regular food so I can get more fiber in.  Soft food is working though and I am learning some good things...I guess.  ;)

Toodles! Have a great weekend!

I know it has taken me FORVER and I am sorry.  Thank you Grace and Pamela for this nomination!


7 Things about myself.

-I LOVE sewing.  I am fairly new to it, but grew up in a family with a lot of women that sewed, quilted, you name it.  I recently thought I needed to continue that legacy and bought a sewing machine and a serger and  LOVE sewing.  I sew mostly for my daughter, but am learning and hope to be sewing for us all soon.


-When I was 18 I packed everything in my Ford Tempo and drove across the country all by myself.


-I have a baby in heaven.  I lost my first baby and it was a terribly tragic event in my life.  My hubby and I were just married and we were devastated.  However, without this experience I wouldn't be who I am today.  Baby Lily taught me SO very much and continues to as I have been able to be a shoulder for many other woman who have lost babies.


 -I love, love, love reality TV.  I know....it's sick.


-I used to work in a factory and did welding.  My husband finds this VERY humorous.  I was good at it too!


-I hate yogurt.  Ewww.  I eat it because I know it's good for me, but I hate it.  It's gross and sour and ewww.


-As a kid I swam competitively for 7 years.  I also did diving and synchronized swimming.  I was a fish, literally.  


Now my nominations..... This is tough, most of the blogs I would nominate,  have already been nominated.  
I need to research this a little......I'll be back!

Learning, learning, learning and BYOC

Yesterday was a day of realization for me.  I really did this,  I really had surgery that placed a band on my stomach to help me lose weight.  This isn't just a dream.  I HAVE lost 27 pounds and counting.  I feel great,  I feel empowered, I feel successful!  There are so many things in my life that my "fat self" has gotten in the way of.  I may have followed through with these things and completed them, but they were never what they should have been, because in the back of my mind, I was just a fat girl.  Well, guess what?  I am no longer "just the fat girl".  I am a beautiful, strong, independent, humble, loving, woman who has chosen to do something positive for herself and is going to enjoy the journey every step of the way.  I feel like I am finally now able to embrace the woman I am, to enjoy who God made me to be.  Not just the good things either.  I am who I am for a reason.  It doesn't matter what anyone thinks, not my mom, not my dad, not anybody.  I have chosen a better life for myself and my family and THAT is what matters.  It was a brave decision and it deserves to be embraced and celebrated EVERY step of the way.

BYOC1.  Do you remember your last dream?

YES.  It was a icky one that involved my children and I don't want to think about it again so that is 'nuff said!

2.  Which is your favorite body part of the human body and why?

I love arms.  Probably because I have my Nana's icky old lady saggy arms and wish they were well....not saggy old lady arms.  
I love men's arms as well.....big strong, sexy arms.  My hubby has nice ones! ;)

3.  Tell me about your first kiss...


Chad Johnson.  Fifth grade.  Truth or dare.  I was IN love with this boy and was so excited, but scared and it was just a peck.  I look back and wish I would have just layed one on him.  LOL
4.  How big is your bed?

KING!  We used to have a queen, but two years ago bought an amazing memory foam bed that is big enough to fit the four of us if need be.  I LOVE it, it was expensive and a bitch to get into our room, but SO worth it.  It's my favorite place in our house, hands down.  ;)
5.  Repeat question....whose blog or comment stuck with you the most this week and why?



Definitely Stephs poop blog.  EWWWW.  Who does that?? 
Also, myself.....I was being a whiny little baby and needed a slap in the face.  I chose to do this, stop bitching and whining and get back on your happy train.  This IS A GOOD THING!!!

I have been a whiny boob....I am sorry.

Well, today is 3 weeks post-op!  My cold is gettting less and less and the fog is clearing.  I have been a whiny little baby and I am sorry.  I really had no idea how this surgery would effect me and I guess I was living in la la land.  Again, I am feeling better these days so I will let the last 3 weeks go.  Today I was down 2lbs for a total loss of 27lbs so I am now at 233.  I don't remember the last time I weighed 233.  I am excited!!  I am going to start working out again at least 3 times a week and hope it keeps dropping off like it has been.  This is exciting and I will enjoy this ride while it last because I know there is a point where the weight loss will slow.  That's about all I have for now, I am off to help my hubby revamp his resume!  Have a great day all!!

Oh yeah!  Only 23 more pounds till I get my nose pierced!!  I can't wait!

I have been a whiny boob....I am sorry.

Well, today is 3 weeks post-op!  My cold is gettting less and less and the fog is clearing.  I have been a whiny little baby and I am sorry.  I really had no idea how this surgery would effect me and I guess I was living in la la land.  Again, I am feeling better these days so I will let the last 3 weeks go.  Today I was down 2lbs for a total loss of 27lbs so I am now at 233.  I don't remember the last time I weighed 233.  I am excited!!  I am going to start working out again at least 3 times a week and hope it keeps dropping off like it has been.  This is exciting and I will enjoy this ride while it last because I know there is a point where the weight loss will slow.  That's about all I have for now, I am off to help my hubby revamp his resume!  Have a great day all!!

I thought I was going to die.

Well after another week or so of no posting I am back yet again.  I am having a hell of a time coming back after this surgery.  Tomorrow will be 3 weeks post op.  I am still stuck at 25lbs down, but I will not complain, it could be worse.   My son had a cold for a day and I think because of my surgery and healing, ect, I got it....BAD.  I have literally been back in my bed for the last 4 days and only today am feeling a little better.  I am hoping this it it for being so run down and I can get back into my daily routine with the kids and working out so I can get more weight of!  I am getting excited about the prospect of shopping for my new smaller body.  I have had quite a few NSV's  over the last week, it's been great!  EVERYONE is noticing my weight loss and finally so am I!  I looked in the mirror the other day and saw collar bones!  SO exciting, they have been hiding for awhile.  I am hoping to take some pics this weekend and see if I can see the progress in them.

I am noticing the swelling going down.  I am eating more without issues and am feeling less "full" after eating and drinking.  I am sure a fill will be greatly appreciated in 3 weeks.  I am still on purees and it's going well.  Lots of ricotta cheese, cottage cheese mashed, ff refried beans, chili, black beans and even some chicken and black beans that I pureed.  My hubby thought it was the most disgusting thing ever, but I thought it was HEAVEN.  Oh yeah, scrambled eggs as well. They were a little bit difficult to go down at first but I LOVE ranch dressing so I just put a little ranch on them and they slide right down.  I am finding it more difficult to make my 1/2 cup last a half hour with less restriction, any ideas there?   Well, I think I am going to put in a short work-out video and talk the kids into "dancing" with me!  Have a good day!

Today is a better day.

First off, thank you all so much for your kind and kick you in the butt (Stephanie) comments yesterday.  I was having a total Debby Downer day an I felt like shit.  Today, I am determined WILL be better.  I slept from 4pm to 8pm and then went back to sleep at 10 and slept till 9am.  I feel rested.  Part of the issue is that I have 2 kids and take care of another little girl with special needs 3 times a week and I feel guilty for making them sit in the hot house one more day so we go do something and it just does me in.  Yesterday we went swimming and then I  had to take my son to physical therapy...it was just too much. I have to learn that I have boundaries right now and stick with them.

On another, more positive note.....the scale is down one more pound today! Woot!  I did 10 min on the elliptical yesterday and could have done 5 more, but was feeling a little dizzy and didn't want to push it.  Well, kiddos need fed.  Thanks again for your support ladies.  I SO wish I could scrap up the money to go to Chicago.  I just applied for another job today...maybe if that works out I could make it work!  We will see!

Another quick one...

 I feel so tired and weak and am seriously wondering why I did this to myself.  I am hoping it gets better.  Ugh.  Anyway...I am still not to hungry and am now on purees, but should I eat if I am not hungry?  My husband says yes because it will help with my energy, but if I eat to much I feel sick and even worse.  Even if I drink too much.   I just don't know what to do or what to think anymore.  I am following all the rules and still feel like shit.  I know...it will get better, but right now it sucks, it sucks big fat donkey balls and I don't like feeling this way.  :b

Total slacker, and 2 weeks post-op.

I have been a total slacker at reading and posting the last week.  We only have one computer right now and it is ALWAYS overtaken by the hubs.  Also, I have just been trying to rest and heal.  I wake up in the morning and feel great. I do something and then I am so tired and sore I am done for the rest of the day.  It seems like it gets a little better everyday, but man....I am tired.  If the dizziness doesn't get better, I may have to go see my GP and see what he says.  I haven't lost anything in about 5 days.  I am now down 23 pounds.  Why no loss in the last few days?  I am trying to get enough fluid and am ONLY eating my 1/2 cup three times a day, I am confused about no loss.  Oh well, next week I am getting back on the elliptical and hopefully that will help.  I am now on purees and get to have scrambled eggs as well.  The eggs are going down but it takes a bit, I can definitely feel my band.  That reminds me, I still need to name the girl,  I will think on that some this week.  Well, the children are screaming that they are ready to go swim......I better get the show on the road.  Hope all is well with you lovelies and I am gonna try to blog a little more this week, at least do BYOC on Friday. Toodles!

Dizzy!

I have been getting really dizzy the last couple days.....anyone else experience this post-op?

1 week!

Yesterday was one week since I have been banded!  Things are getting better everyday.  I am still a little tender and yesterday I did WAY to much, like gave my big beast of a dog a bath and I payed for it last night and today.  I took it WAY easier today.  I had my post-op appt this morning and all is good.  I am now on full liquids and tolerating that great!  I met with the nutritionist today and I still can't figure out how they expect a person to get 60gms protein a day when the only want you to eat 1/2 cup three times a day.  Even if you eat really high protein foods, with only half a cup it seems nearly impossible without adding in a protein shake here and there.  They said I could have protein shakes now, but as I progress I need to phase them out.  I still say if I need the protein I will have one.  The protein powder I use is only 100 calories per scoop and no carbs or sugars.  What do you all do?  Well, that's about it, pretty uneventful around here.   Well one more thing....I am down 10 pounds since surgery so that is 20 pounds total!!  The doc did warn me that I may gain some back as I add more food, but thats okay.  They told me my first fill in 6 weeks will be 6cc!!  So exciting! Toodles

SO much better.

Thank you all so much for your kind and supportive comments the last couple days.  I am feeling LOADS better today and even got out of the house for a bit.  My good friend April came to  pick me up and took me to Target, it was great!!  Target is one of my favorite places.  April had gastric bypass about 3 years ago and she has been great suppport.  I called her this morning and told her I woke up starving, she said I needed Jello.  I didn't have any sugar free Jello so I got some while we were there.  The Hubby just made it for me and I can't wait to eat it! I didn't think I would feel hungry today, but I do.  I could eat a horse.  Well.....not really my band would definetly stop that at this point.  I am actually feeling my band, its awesome and weird all in one.  If I take to big of sip I feel it, if I drink to fast, I feel it.  There is lots of gurgling going on in there.  I bought a whole bunch of stuff for next week as well.  Buttery grits, creamy soup,  pudding, and lots of yummy teas and juices that I can even have now.  The next few days will be difficult as I can feel the swelling going down and the hunger start, but I know I can do this.  I just have to make it to Tuesday and then I am on full liquids and can add in my protein shakes as well and I do love those.  Well...off to nap, I took some pain meds when I got home from Target because my tummy was killing me and they are kicking in.  Thanks again for your comments, keep em comin!!

*edited to add the following*
As soon as I woke from surgery I had a lot of pain in my left shoulder and it has continued for that last several days. They said it was from the gas they pump into you. Today it was better until about an hour ago and it got bad, really bad.  I took a hot shower, put the heating pad on and hubby ran to Walgreens and got me some Gas-X.  It has subsided, but is still there.  I have researched it a little and it seems a lot of banded people had this shoulder pain post-op and some continue to have it and get it as a warning they are heading toward eating to much. Some also said it is due to a nerve on or around your diaphragm that gets pressure put on it from the band caused by swelling or overeating.  I will talk with the surgeon at my post-op on Wednesday.  Have any of you experienced this and what did/do you do to relieve the pain?

Gas, pooping, and chest pain.

Well, I am still FULL of gas.  I have been walking as much as I can, but it wipes me out.  I keep feeling like I need to burp and then get this terrible chest pain and pain in my left arm and don't burp.  It hurts and I can't figure out if it's my band or what it is.  I am suppose to drink at LEAST 48oz of fluid a day, but with all this gas a few sips and I am uncomfortable.  Any suggestions?  Also I had surgery Tuesday and still haven't pooped yet...is this okay?  They gave me stool softeners to take, but said only to take them if I was constipated.  I don't feel constipated, so I haven't taken them.  Should I be pooping by now?  Thanks for all your supportive comments.  I am trying to hang in there, but am a little discouraged today.  This gas is killing me.

BYOC

1. Let’s brag a little….what’s the best perk you’ve ever had in your job (current or past)? Any employment counts - even if you’re a stay at home mom – you have perks (and the hardest job ever in my opinion).

The best perks I had at a job was working at a medical clinic.  We had lots of  "free" drug rep lunches and dinners.  They were always at fun, swanky, expensive places that I could never afford.  

2. Do you ever lie in your blog?

No.  If I can't be honest here, why blog?

3. What do you wear to bed?

My bedtime outfit of choice is nude.  However, with 2 kiddos now it is panties and a t-shirt.  You just never know when you will need to hop out of bed and clean up puke or calm a screaming baby.

4. Where do you go for advice?

I am blessed to have many great friends and family that are always willing to lend an ear and give advice.  My husband is great at it as well, but sometimes he just wants to fix things and I don't always need a fixer.  Also when it comes to this lapband journey, here in blogland I have gotten amazing, honest advice that has been incredibly helpful.

5. Repeat question. Make someone a superstar without using a blog award. What comment or blog stuck with you the most this week and why?
 

Honestly, I have been so doped up on pain meds that I don't really remember the blogs I have read.  LOL.  I  do remember seeing a picture of Drazil all sassied up in her biker gear and thought....."she looks hot!"  Also, some pics of Amy with her girlfriend and they are SO very cute.  

I am alive!!!

Well ladies! I did it, I am now on the other side.  I am a banded woman.  Before I talk about my experience, I have say I am a person who lets it all out there.  I don't  hide facts, I really like to tell it how it is, because I hate experiencing things and thinking...why didn't anyone tell me about THIS.  Like having a baby...no one tells you all the nity grity, nasty details. I remember thinking when I was in labor and leaking fluids everywhere, why didn't any one tell me? SO here it goes.....

I not only was banded, but also had a hiatal hernia repaired.  I went in the morning of surgery and went through all the normal procedures, blood, urine, iv, etc.  They wheeled me back to surgery around 11am and and the last thing I remember was a mask on my face and them telling me to take deep breaths.  The next thing I remember is waking up to them taking the intubation tube out of my throat and it was scary.  I couldn't breath and my stomach hurt SO bad.  I was quite teary and the nurse kept rudely telling me to calm down and that she would get me some pain meds.  It kept hurting.  Finally after a half hour (I know this because she kept telling me what time it was) I was finally comfortable.  It was a little scary for me, but I got over it.  I then went to my room and stayed one night in the hospital.  The hospital stay was interesting, I won't go into detail about because it's not really important.  I will say this......I was in a lot of pain.  I kept thinking, what is wrong with you Sumer?  Everyone said it was way better than they thought it would be, but this was way worse.  I had a c-section with my last baby and this experience was FAR more painful.  My doctor then told me that it was because of the hernia repair that I was in so much pain.  I don't know why, I just know it hurt, and it took a while to find meds that would control it.  I came home the next day and honestly that night I thought I might have to go back to the hospital.  I was SO full of gas.  My stomach was so hard I felt like my incisions might burst open at any minute.  I am now on day 4 and I STILL have a lot of gas in there.  I am walking as much as I can and using heating pads, but am still really gassy. My lungs continue to hurt from the intubation, but are getting better.  How do you people do it?  I read on one blog that she went back to work 4 days post-op, going downstairs to get some broth poops me out.  I am holding on to the fact that each day is getting better.  Its hard to say if I "feel" my band yet as I still am so full of gas.  I will say that one Popsicle fills me up and I have to wait awhile to drink anything else.  I am trying to get the 48-64oz of fluids in, but it's hard, there just isn't a lot of room in there.
The experience was quite painful and continues to be somewhat painful, but I am excited to feel my band more and see what time brings me.  My BFF said I already look skinnier! LOL.  It was sweet.  Well ladies, just wanted to let you know I did it and am now one of you.  I am not trying to scare any of you out there that haven't been banded yet, just want to be honest,  MY experience was not like most I guess.  I didn't feel this way a couple days ago, but it WAS worth it and I know I will see that even more as I heal more and more.
Now I need to catch up on my blog reading.  Toodles!

Tell me it will get better after tomorrow...PLEASE!

So today is day two of clear liquid diet and I am starving.  I did okay yesterday till about 5pm and then it kicked in, stomach growling (loud), feel sick, hunger.  I woke up like that as well.  I am drinking a TON, but that seems to almost make it worse.  This morning I am trying an isopure, we will see how that does.  Will I feel less like this post banding? The thought of two weeks of liquids is making me scared.
My hubby was so sweet last night, my family had pizza and I made some comment about how it looked SO good and he said..."Not as good as that Jello looks!"  Ha ha.  It was total bullshit, but very cute.
Well ladies and gentleman....I think this is my last post as an un-banded woman!  See you on the other side!

Day 1 of of clear liquid diet.

Today is Day one and let me tell you, I am SO glad I made homemade broth.  It taste SO much better.

On another quick note, I watched Super Size Me for the first time last night and let me tell you....GREAT movie to watch 2 days post-op.  I don't know that I will eat at Mcd's  for a long time.....or ever.  EWWWW!  I feel terrible I ever fed it to my children.  It was extremely eye opening not just about fast food, but about our gluttonous country.  It's sad and scary!  Thank God I have the opportunity to have lap band surgery and to change not only MY life, but my families life in a positive way.

P.S.
2 days, 2 days, 2 days, 2 days,2 days, 2 days,2 days, 2 days,2 days, 2 days,2 days, 2 days,2 days, 2 days!!!
Can you tell I am excited?

BYOC

1. Because I’m going hardcore on Monday to lose my last 15 before vacation I’m curious….what’s the oddest diet you have tried? Or which ones have you tried and were any successful?

• I haven't ever tried anything too crazy.  I have done Atkins, cabbage soup, metabolife (YUCK!) and various others.  The only one that really worked was weight watchers, but it still was hard to lose. I did lose 30 pounds and kept if off with WW, just never when any farther than that.  The band will fix that! :)

2. Do you prefer baths or showers?

• It depends.  I like a nice bath if I want to relax.  I am sure I will enjoy baths more as I lose weight right  now now matter how much water I put in half my body STILL sticks out.  LOL.  


As for Draz's  baths with her hubby.....I like  showers with my hubby and I LOVE it when he washes my hair. There is just something about someone washing my hair, especially my man. Sexy.

3. What is your favorite breakfast food?

• Ummmm, bacon, egg and cheese mcgriddle.  The healthy side of me would say scrambled eggs with LOTS of veggies and a little cheese. 

4. What’s your least favorite word?

• jesus christ.  I hate it.  I mean not when you are talking about the actual Jesus Christ, when you say it in "vain".  It makes me feel dirty.  I do however say god damn-it a whole lot. LOL


5. Repeat question…make someone a Superstar for a day! Whose blog or comment spoke to you or stuck with you the most this week and why?

* I have to say Grace as well, Stephanie too.  I love that a lot of you are so honest in your blogging and bare it all.  It gives me great inspiration to do the same.  I love the support around here....can't say that enough!