I am terrified...

As I said in a previous post, I have to have surgery on my shoulder the end of October.  I am SO scared.  I mentioned it to my surgeon when I had my last fill and he said they may have to empty my band due to nausea from anesthesia.  WHAT???  I have 5cc in there now and could use more.  I am closer to the green zone, but not THAT close.  I am really struggling here.  Saturday, I was down to 225 and today I got on the scale and I am back up to 233.5.  8 pounds in like 4 days? WTF??  I am making good food choices, the working out has been sporadic because I have the cold that won't go away and my lungs hurt.  I am hoping to squeeze a workout in today when my baby girl goes down for a nap, lungs hurting or not.  I am NOT suppose to be gaining weight at this point and this is just NOT okay with me.  I was only 15 pounds away from my nose ring goal and I am pissed.  I guess all I can do it channel that energy into some kick ass workouts and tell those 8 pounds where to go.  *sigh*  I just feel discouraged and like no one cares.  Okay...enough of that, no pity parties for me today.  I care and that is what matters.  I CAN do this and I WILL do this.  210...here I come!!

I had a moment....

I got my hair cut Friday morning.  I hate looking in the mirror when I get my hair cut,  I always see every imperfection as I sit and stare at myself for 45 min.  WELL, on Friday as I was sitting there loathing the fact that I would have to look at myself for the next hour I glanced over to take a quick peak in the mirror and had a moment of joy....I LIKED WHAT I SAW!!!  I can't tell you the last time I looked in the mirror and thought...you know Sum, you look pretty.  Friday I felt that way.  It was fantastic.  I am embracing the new me and loving it!  This makes me more happy than words can say.  I have pics from the wedding to share and will do so as soon as I get them uploaded!  Hope you all had a great time in Chicago!!!  Oh yeah...guess what the scale said yesterday  morning?  225!! WHOOT!!!!  That's almost 10 pounds in a week according to my surgeon!  Yay for restriction!

SO much going on!

I just wanted to stop by and say a quick hello and tell everyone..."Have a great time in Chicago"!!!
I know I have been MIA for awhile, but my life has been crazy busy and SO much change is happening.  Lets start with the band....
I got my second fill a couple weeks early and  now as of Monday I have 5cc in my band!  I feel alot more restriction (YAY!!) and have lost 5 pounds this week!  I am now down to 227 after the last month of up and down 7 pounds!  I feel great and am excited for what the next months bring.
Now with my personal life....  
My baby boy is now in kindergarten!  I had a really tough time the first week but this week (the second week) has gone much better.  I just miss him so much.  I didn't realize it at the time but, the first day of school was also my due date for my baby that I lost.  It has been almost 7 years and I still every year get really sad and it takes a few days for me to remember and figure out what is going on.  It's funny how I want to NOT remember dates like these, but my heart just knows.  It was tough.  Also, one of my best friends Daddy passed away very unexpectedly and suddenly this past Monday and it has been a emotional roller-coaster.  I also found out I have to have surgery on my shoulder.  All I can say is the day sucked big donkey balls.  Major ones.
I was in a car accident almost 2 years ago....someday I will write more about this as it was a very life changing event for me.  In the accident I suffered an injury to my shoulder and collar bone joint.  One is operable....one is not.  I am going to have shoulder surgery the end of October.  I am terrified, but don't want to be in pain on a daily basis anymore, so I will do it.  Well ladies....to be honest my mind is a blur and I need to get off to a haircut and then a wedding for another good friends daughter.  I wonder....how many emotions can one feel in a weeks time without her head blowing up?  Toodles!
PS-  I am going to work really hard this next week at being a better blogger.  I really, really am.

Quick question...

I am wondering, what is your goal calorie intake for each day?  Also, do you work out?

Lazy Blogger.....no not really just busy!

The last week has been CARAZY busy!  Monday last week was me and my hubbys 7th wedding anniversary!  My grandparents watched the 2 kiddos overnight and we came home with yummy Italian food and watched True Blood (we are officially caught up!).  It was fantastic and much needed.  In fact my kids are almost 6 and 3 and this is the first time we have had both kids gone at the same time.  Sleeping in was marvelous! Then midweek we had kindergarten orientation.... my baby is getting big!  I also got my first fill that day.  I got 4cc put in my 11cc band and I should have gotten more.  They normally do 5-7cc your first fill, but I wasn't quite sure what I should be feeling and of course no on explained it.  The fill was painless, this I was quite happy about!  I know I should have gotten more because I can still take really large swallows of water with NO issue and I can eat probably 1-2 cups of food if I want.  I am really trying not to do so. I will definitely be more aggressive next time.   I haven't lost anything in the last couple weeks and that is discouraging.  I also haven't worked out for several days so that doesn't help my cause either.  My goal is to be back on the wagon by next week.  I NEED to be working out at least 5 days a week. I am hoping being back into the routine of school and a schedule everyday will help me.  I do know it will give me more time to blog and that always helps keep me accountable!  Well, off to read some more of your blogs!